Love Thy Self An Post For Teenage Girls Adore Thy Physique
Love Thy Self: An Post For Teenage Women: Adore Thy Physique
Having mentioned in the first Real World New Orleans episode that my on and off college boyfriend of four years was black, didn’t really please every single viewer. Interestingly, I have received some lovely hate mail commenting on my dating preference. Some of the comments have included, “You are way to pretty to be dating black men.” Even better than that one, “You should have sex with only white men from now on to get all that black out of you.” As these comments are obviously amongst some of the most profound and well thought out I have learned to easily laugh them off and ignore, ignore, ignore. However, it does make me wonder…did a man just really go out of his way to write these things to me? The answer sadly enough is yes he did and of course these messages don’t warrant a response.
The first I heard of this was when Terrence Howard announced he and his wife Michelle were getting a divorce, and his reason was because she was a racist. Huh? What? Is what I was thinking. This just didn’t make any sense to me.
One of my friends also pointed out that I’m too nice to black men. My take on that is, all of God’s creations are worthy of love and respect. Black men are men and as men should know pure, honest, love. How sad that anyone would want to deny us love based solely on the color of our skin (it’s twice as sad when it’s us). Black men are also told by family, friends, co-workers and clergy that they should think about expanding their dating options because black women just don’t know how to act.
Men who give surprises and gifts to women turn out to the successful ones in winning the competition. Women like to date men who can go out with her on holidays and shopping and who can take time out from office and take her to the beach or to the hill stations.
With public assistance, black meets white dating sites learned that they no longer needed Black men to survive. You must understand that black men have been absolved of responsibilities since slavery. Public assistance was another notch in the emasculatation of Black men. Because most black men had a run-in of sorts with the law, many jobs were unavailable to them. Once again, white and black dating sites would pick up the slack. It was easier to hire a black woman. We were exploited, raped, treated apathetically by our owners. No one seemed to care.
The bottom line is this, if white girls white women black men dating site want to succeed they need to find out what black men really want and forget what they “think” they want.
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Fully aware of what I bring to the table as a woman, I didn’t think that I was asking too much out of life or being unreasonable in my expectations. I only wanted a man who enjoyed life, was intellectually, economically and educationally compatible, loving, kind, romantic, faithful and strong. There are black men out there that meet my criteria and I have met many, but they were either already involved, uninterested in, offered only friendship or we just didn’t click.
Maybe Chris Rock is right. Maybe black women need to broaden they options and do more of black and white dating or date interracially in general. But no one should mistake this for desperation because its not. Everyone deserves to be loved and when you meet the one who sweeps you off your feet, instead of worrying about what the men or women of your race will think of it, act on your love impulse.
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